Withstanding the Wait

It seems as if all we do in life is wait, and this process to and through adoption has been no different.  In fact, I am writing this in our hotel room as we wait for our son to be born - 2 days later than he was supposed to be here!  I'll be honest, I had a minor breakdown yesterday when we found out that our expectant mother was not admitted to the hospital as planned because there was not room.  Sure, it is just a couple of days which is nothing compared to how long we have waited to become parents, but it is still more waiting.

It is so hard to know how to handle the wait.  I have already read two books since our flight left Friday morning (it is 2pm on Sunday).  We went to the beach for a while yesterday and on a two-hour long walk today to kill some time.  But now we just have to sit here and wait for a phone call to tell us to come to the hospital - and then we have to wait the appropriate time before we can bring him back to the hotel with us and wait even longer to actually bring him home!

The wait to become parents has been difficult, but constantly questioning what we should be doing in that wait made it even harder.  When we were struggling with unexplained infertility, we felt guilty for doing fun things because we didn't want people to think that we were happy about not being parents.  However, I now know how important it is to do fun things to get your mind off of what you don't have, otherwise you will drive yourself crazy.  We still have plenty of things in our lives to be happy about, and it wouldn't be right to deprive ourselves of happiness because one area of our lives was unhappy.  

Once we decided to pursue adoption, we felt guilty any time we spent money on something fun.  We were worried about how it would look to people if we went to a football game, basketball tournament or out to eat with friends when we were trying to raise money for adoption expenses.  But again, we realized how important it is to still do things that we enjoy.  Sure, we have cut back on a lot of things (an entire year without cable, especially ESPN is rough!), but we still choose to do fun things that cost money.

I believe that you have to make the most of whatever situation you are in.  If you are constantly waiting for something to change or happen, you will never be able to just enjoy life.  One of our friends' motto during their adoption journey was "Choose Joy".  I love this because you really do have a choice, and even though it might be difficult during certain situations, I would rather choose joy than let life pass me by while I wait.  I'm not saying it is wrong to wait for something - but don't make yourself miserable by letting it consume you.  I have seen this quote floating around Facebook and really like it - I hope you do too!